pregnancy

March 20, 2015 By Melanie Sweeney 6 Comments

My Actual Pregnant Body

Two weekends ago, my husband, toddler, and I went to Target for the week’s groceries. In recent weeks, Josh has made this trip either alone or with just our son while I stay home and rest. He does this because walking and standing and even sitting upright for longer than ten minutes wears me out now, because I’m pregnant with twins. He does it because he is a good partner and father.

This particular day, for whatever reason, I thought I was up for the trip. I think I just wanted to spend more time with my family after a busy few days. (We had just bought a minivan, which involved several hours at a dealership over three days, but that’s a whole other story.) Within five minutes of standing in line to return some items at customer service, I was uncomfortable, light-headed, a little breathless. I started doing some really unflattering stretches, resting my forehead on the cart handle and bending forward with my butt sticking out to take some pressure off my back. [Read more…]

February 15, 2015 By Melanie Sweeney Leave a Comment

On Accepting Help

I had postpartum anxiety, OCD, and depression with my first baby. I’m trying hard to make the best preparations I can for myself and my family with these twins so that I can avoid or address it this time. I did a lot on my own last time, not because my husband slacked off or something, but because I was alone while he worked and because I felt very possessive of the baby and in need of control. A lot of things felt very out of control for me then.

This time, I want to accept more help and learn to live with less control, but the help I’ve already had is stressing me out, making me very vulnerable, and in some ways really disrupting me emotionally. I need a particular kind of help to feel okay. I do not currently feel okay. But I’m not in a position to take care of everything myself with such a tiring pregnancy. [Read more…]

January 17, 2015 By Melanie Sweeney Leave a Comment

Baby Journals

I’m 18 weeks pregnant with twins. I wrote a journal to my first kid, so it’s only fitting to do the same for these new babies. I don’t know if my kids will ever know or care that I wrote these, but I think I will be glad to have them.

January 4, 2015 By Melanie Sweeney Leave a Comment

16 Weeks

I’ve been reading Barbara Luke’s book on pregnancy with multiples and trying to find ways to eat well and also gain weight. I decided to finally buy a bathroom scale so I can make sure I’m on the right track. Got the thing home and there is a large sticker saying use of this scale is not intended for pregnant women. What? Is that like a gentle reminder that pregnant ladies shouldn’t be trying to lose weight, or is there something specific about this scale that isn’t compatible with pregnancy? I don’t know. I’ve gained maybe five pounds, though, so there’s that.

I’m feeling really useless lately. I do my best to keep up with my toddler through the work week, but as soon as my husband gets home, I’m desperate to lie down. On weekends and in the evening, he does everything. I mean everything. He basically takes on full parenting, all the meals, dishes, housework. He refills my water and gets me snacks. I said today that it’s hard being pregnant. I added, “It’s hard being married to someone who’s pregnant.” He sort of jokingly added, “Yeah, but you can’t complain about it.” [Read more…]