I had postpartum anxiety, OCD, and depression with my first baby. I’m trying hard to make the best preparations I can for myself and my family with these twins so that I can avoid or address it this time. I did a lot on my own last time, not because my husband slacked off or something, but because I was alone while he worked and because I felt very possessive of the baby and in need of control. A lot of things felt very out of control for me then.
This time, I want to accept more help and learn to live with less control, but the help I’ve already had is stressing me out, making me very vulnerable, and in some ways really disrupting me emotionally. I need a particular kind of help to feel okay. I do not currently feel okay. But I’m not in a position to take care of everything myself with such a tiring pregnancy. [Read more…]