My mother used to say, “Don’t have more kids than you have hands.”

Or maybe it was less prescriptive: “I didn’t have more kids than I had hands.”

Whatever the semantics, I have always thought of it as real, practical advice. She had two kids. I only ever wanted two kids.

For a long time after my son was born, I struggled to even imagine having one more. He was the kind of baby who slept in twenty minute bursts and who nursed round the clock. If you want a label, he was/is High Need or Spirited. Shortly after his second birthday, he stopped napping altogether. I coped with the high demand of this child with a lot of attachment parenting solutions, not because I wanted to (though much of it was in line with my natural instincts), but more because I was drowning most days, and attachment kept us afloat. If I had a second baby, I knew most of my first approach would not be practical. You can’t lie with a baby for every nap and night-time sleep with a toddler to also take care of. So I decided, Not now. Maybe not ever.  [Read more…]