Melanie Sweeney

Microaffections

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My Actual Pregnant Body

Two weekends ago, my husband, toddler, and I went to Target for the week’s groceries. In recent weeks, Josh has made this trip either alone or with just our son while I stay home and rest. He does this because walking and standing and even sitting upright for longer than ten minutes wears me out now, because I’m pregnant with twins. He does it because he is a good partner and father.

This particular day, for whatever reason, I thought I was up for the trip. I think I just wanted to spend more time with my family after a busy few days. (We had just bought a minivan, which involved several hours at a dealership over three days, but that’s a whole other story.) Within five minutes of standing in line to return some items at customer service, I was uncomfortable, light-headed, a little breathless. I started doing some really unflattering stretches, resting my forehead on the cart handle and bending forward with my butt sticking out to take some pressure off my back. [Read more…]

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16 Weeks

I’ve been reading Barbara Luke’s book on pregnancy with multiples and trying to find ways to eat well and also gain weight. I decided to finally buy a bathroom scale so I can make sure I’m on the right track. Got the thing home and there is a large sticker saying use of this scale is not intended for pregnant women. What? Is that like a gentle reminder that pregnant ladies shouldn’t be trying to lose weight, or is there something specific about this scale that isn’t compatible with pregnancy? I don’t know. I’ve gained maybe five pounds, though, so there’s that.

I’m feeling really useless lately. I do my best to keep up with my toddler through the work week, but as soon as my husband gets home, I’m desperate to lie down. On weekends and in the evening, he does everything. I mean everything. He basically takes on full parenting, all the meals, dishes, housework. He refills my water and gets me snacks. I said today that it’s hard being pregnant. I added, “It’s hard being married to someone who’s pregnant.” He sort of jokingly added, “Yeah, but you can’t complain about it.” [Read more…]

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A (Long) Note on How I Feel About Expecting Twins

My mother used to say, “Don’t have more kids than you have hands.”

Or maybe it was less prescriptive: “I didn’t have more kids than I had hands.”

Whatever the semantics, I have always thought of it as real, practical advice. She had two kids. I only ever wanted two kids.

For a long time after my son was born, I struggled to even imagine having one more. He was the kind of baby who slept in twenty minute bursts and who nursed round the clock. If you want a label, he was/is High Need or Spirited. Shortly after his second birthday, he stopped napping altogether. I coped with the high demand of this child with a lot of attachment parenting solutions, not because I wanted to (though much of it was in line with my natural instincts), but more because I was drowning most days, and attachment kept us afloat. If I had a second baby, I knew most of my first approach would not be practical. You can’t lie with a baby for every nap and night-time sleep with a toddler to also take care of. So I decided, Not now. Maybe not ever.  [Read more…]